A couple decides that they need a guard dog.
The husband goes to a pet store and says to the clerk, “I need a guard dog to protect my house.
The clerk replies, “I have the perfect dog for you,” and then shows the man a Chihuahua.
The man is not impressed and says, “I need a dog to guard our house and ward off burglars, a Chihuahua can’t do that.
“But this is no ordinary Chihuahua. This is an At…t…a..ck Chihuahua!” said the clerk, “Here, I’ll show you how it works! At…t…a..ck Chihuahua, chair”.
The clerk pointed to a chair, and the man and the clerk watched as the Chihuahua tore it apart, leaving only splinters.
“Wow,” said the man, “but I still think we need a real guard dog.”
“Are you sure?” replied the woman, “I’ll show you again, the aggressive Chihuahua, the table!”
She pointed to a table and again the Chihuahua smashed it.
The man said, “Okay, okay, I’ll take it.”
When he brought it home, his wife was very upset.
“Why did you buy a Chihuahua?!” she yelled.
“Because,” he replied, “this is no ordinary Chihuahua, this is an At…t…a..ck Chihuahua!”
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.a
“At…t…a..ck Chihuahua, my a**!” she replied.
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The Policeman had stopped the man for obvious drunken driving,
but since the guy had a clean record, he made him park the car and took him home in the patrol car.
“Are you sure this is your house?” the cop asked as they drove into a rather fashionable neighborhood.
“Shertainly!” said the drunk, “and if you’ll just open the door f’me, I can prove it to ya.”
Entering the living room, he said, “You shee that piano? Thash mine. You shee that giant television set? Thast mine too. Now follow me.”
The police officer followed the man as he shakily negotiated the stairs to the second floor. The drunk pushed open the first door they came to.
“Thish ish my bedroom,” he announced. “Shee the bed there? Thast mine! Shee that woman lying in the bed? Thash my wife. An’ see that guy lying next to her?”
“Yeah?” the cop replied suspiciously. Beginning at this point to seriously doubt the man’s story.
“Well, thash me!”
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Two kids are talking to each other
Little Johnny and Little Mary are talking to each other.
L.Johnny says, “I’m really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I’m worried sick!”
Little Mary says, “What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you’ve got it made!”
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Little Johnny says, “What if they try to escape?”
