A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman manages to bul..l..y his way into a woman’s home in a rural area.
“This machine is the best ever, I assure you ma’am,” he says. “It can clean anything. In fact, I’ll give you a demonstration. If this machine doesn’t remove all the dirt from your carpets and completely clean them, I’ll eat whatever it leaves!”
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..
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The woman smiles and asks, “Would you like ketchup or mayonnaise on your dirt? We don’t have electricity here.”
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Every day Francesca went to the cemetery in her village to water the flowers on the grave of her deceased husband Enzo.
When she was finished she always walked backwards when leaving the grave.
One day her friend Bianca asked, “Francesca why do you always leave the cemetery walking backwards?”
Francesca answered, “When Enzo was alive he always told me, ‘You’ve got such a great eyes it could bring a dead man back to life.’ So I’m not taking any chances!”
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A woman takes her little boy to visit their dead relatives’ gravestones at a cemetery.
The little boy has never been to a cemetery before. The woman first takes her son her grandmother Annie’s gravestone.
The initials under Annie’s name say R.I.P. The little boy asks, “Mommy, what does R.I.P. stand for?”
His mother replies, “It stands for ‘Rest in Peace.’ That means we wish for Grandma Annie’s spirit to find peace in the afterlife.”
Then, they come across the gravestone of the woman’s uncle Joe. The little boy asks, “Mommy, what does R.I.H. stand for?”, pointing to the initials printed under Uncle Joe’s name.
“We really didn’t like Uncle Joe.” Said his mother.
